...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
