try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
