Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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