if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
