i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
