he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
