And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she told me i tasted like america
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
