Umm I'm too high to move.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
