When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
