I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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