I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
