Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
