We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
