Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
