Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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