I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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