Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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