apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We have started to decorate penises.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
