So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
