So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
