Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
