Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
