She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
