I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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