@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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