listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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