If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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