It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
