Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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