Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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