oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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