Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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