my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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