You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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