Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
