you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
