My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
