So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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