I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sorry my hands just texted you
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
