He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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