Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
