I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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