Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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