$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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