YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
