Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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