stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
