dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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