i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
