you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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