Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
